How to know where to begin when you can't find the starting line

It has not been an easy couple of years, moving from place to place al the time everything always up in the air no certainties but death... life can be so overwhelming sometimes, especially when the people who love you most are the ones you let down the most often. Is it because I dont appreciate these people and all that they impact in my life, or is it simply that im just a little slow sometimes, a little to quick to speak and am always trying to please too many at one time? I have no idea what to do... or where to even start...